


Changing History

by mageicalwishes



Series: Carry On Countdown 2020 [3]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Carry On Countdown 2020 (Simon Snow), Carry On Countdown Day 3, Fallout from Carry On, Heavy Angst, M/M, The Mage (Simon Snow) is an Asshole, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, fuck the mage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mageicalwishes/pseuds/mageicalwishes
Summary: The Mage's publicized documents reveal a myriad of painful truths about the loss of Natasha Grimm-Pitch and the origins of Simon Snow.Carry On Countdown, Day 3 - RetellingsTW: Contains brief, undetailed references to unhealthy coping mechanisms including Excessive Drinking & Reduced Eating. While very minor, please be mindful of this when reading. If you feel that any of that may trigger or upset you, please feel free to just skip over this one entirely :) There should be something a little less heavy coming tomorrow.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027147
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	Changing History

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Contains brief, undetailed references to unhealthy coping mechanisms including Excessive Drinking & Reduced Eating. While very minor, please be mindful of this when reading. If you feel that any of that may trigger or upset you, please feel free to just skip over this one entirely :) There should be something a little less heavy coming tomorrow.

**Simon**

After the Mage’s fall, our History was retold - The story that formed the modern World of Mages, rewritten. With every one of the Mage's recovered documents, publicized by the Coven, bringing another twisted lie to light. 

That night in August. Natasha Grimm-Pitch … Baz’s mum,  _ murdered _ in the place that she loved. All those babies - How close they came to never making it back home. Baz’s life - Gone.  _ Stolen. _ The beating of his heart, stilled. The copper of his skin, drained. 

A child left motherless. A man who lost his love. A family torn apart. A World plunged into fear. Dark creatures shoved into the shadows - Hiding.  _ Persecuted. _

‘The Great Reformation’ he’d said. A chance to be better - To  _ do _ better. 

All of that pain - All of that _heartbreak_ \- all caused by the selfishness of one man. All in the tainted name of _progress._

And then … Well, then there is me. Simon Snow Salisbury. 

In amongst his files they found a personal diary. The lives of Davy and Lucy spread across age-worn pages. The Mage before he was the Mage. A baby boy born on the summer solstice. _ Me.  _

My  _ parents. _ My whole life, I’d wondered who they were - What they were like. I spent years telling myself tall tales of a pair of glamorous socialites, too young or rich or busy to care for me, mourning the loss of their darling son. Waiting for the day that we could finally be reunited. And now ... I know.

Lucy - My mother. She ran away with him after Watford, sold on his vision of a brighter future. Sold on him. 

Mitali blames herself for not seeing it sooner - For seeing _me_ sooner. But it isn’t her fault. She knew Lucy … before. So she told me about her when I asked. Told me that she was kind, and fun, and gentle - That she wanted to see the best in everybody. That she loved the sunshine. That she loved dogs. That she loved lacrosse … That she loved a monster.

Davy - My father. The Mage. A liar. A killer. A  _ traitor. _

When I was younger (And dumber), I used to wonder what it would be like to have him as my Father - Used to dream that, if I made it to my last day at Watford, he’d ask me to live with him. That _he’d_ be my family. But, as it turns out, I didn’t need to. I’d already unknowingly experienced his attempt at Fatherhood - Ignoring me for a whole year, sending me after the monsters, tutting at me from across Baz’s mother’s desk when I’d disappointed him, leaving me in the Homes no matter how much I begged him not to. Lying to me my whole life. I didn't _need_ that. I didn't _want_ that. 

He never did bother to explain why he left me in the first place - Why he couldn’t just look after me himself. He never did say why he didn’t just tell me the truth. Although, I suppose that maybe he just thought that I wouldn’t forgive him - That I wouldn’t do his bidding once I found out what he’d done (I mean, it’s no secret that I have a bit of a temper). I would’ve, though … I think. Maybe not so much towards the end, but in my earlier years at Watford I was desperate enough to have overlooked it. If that was all it took to have a family, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat. 

But … none of that matters anymore.

I thought that it would be better for everyone - Finally being able to see the truth, after being blinded by his lies for so long. But ... I’m not so sure of that now. 

Watching Mr Grimm’s hollowed eyes staring, blackened and empty, as he pushes food around his plate. His wrists and waist thinning. His heart breaking all over again as Daphne watches, hopeless and unable to help. 

_ The truth didn’t benefit him.  _

Nights spent driving around in Baz’s fancy car, hunting the local bars for his Aunt Fiona. Dragging her home reeking of spirits, as she swore to us both that she’d find the Mage’s unmarked grave and make him pay for what he did to her sister. To Baz. To  _ me. _

_ The truth didn’t benefit her. _

Catching Baz staring at himself in the mirror, tracing his fingers along the barely-there scars on his neck - Photograph of him and his mother in hand - when he thought I was asleep. 

_ The truth didn’t benefit him.  _

Staring at the photograph of my parents that Aggie sent me - The pain of how hollow it all felt. I never knew either of them … not really. My long-anticipated family, nothing more than ghosts and strangers. Knowing that it was me who killed them - Who sent them both to their graves. I didn’t mean to do it, of course. But I did. My  _ mother. _ My  _ father. _

_ The truth didn’t benefit me, either.  _

No. All the truth did was reopen our old wounds. All the truth did was let him hurt us all over again. We know the extent of it now - His deceit and his cruelty - but that is little consolation. I suppose that, in reality, it’s exactly as they say … Ignorance is bliss.

**Author's Note:**

> Another angsty one ... Whoops. While heavy, I think that the weight of the impact of the Mage's actions warrants such a sombre tone. Sorry! Hopefully there will be something a little more cheery tomorrow!  
> Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed :) Comments and kudos, appreciated.  
> My Tumblr: [Link text](https://mageicalwishes.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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